on museums, on breadcrumbs and love bombs.
i hesitated to write about this in any form, but to make it (?) and me feel better… i had no other choice. you know when you get a song in your head and you can’t get it out, unfortunately, this song fucking sucks. the reason? you found a song that you thought no one else knew, and in reality, it’s a melody that everyone knows. they learned it, sang it, and requested it quite often. now you’ve learned, you’ve got no one to sing it to.
i cannot believe this. but then again, i can. how easy it was for you to enter and explore the exhibits as a patron, purposefully unpaid.
i never thought to liken myself to a museum, but it couldn’t be more accurate. it's the learning aspects that bring this all together. sitting at the corner of the bar in my apartment, i picture it…
a beautiful space. with many exhibits, all dynamic, that ebb and flow, he roams its halls without intention.
how easy it was for you to enter and explore the exhibits. traditional [text]iles filled one room. in another exhibit of empty promises, a brand new piece has been hung. nailed to the brain, a negative space. with your face fixed and fixated on fucking everything up, and leaving. it was cute at the beginning and I saw the chase to learn the museum front to back in as little time as possible. only to learn the map, master it, and make more mention of the metered time for the visits before you’re on to the next one.
swooping in and dumping all the things you’ve learned in a little thread of “what ifs,” and possibilities as a way to continue to create more space than 2,343 miles ever could.
it’s honestly love bombing. love bombing is defined as… an attempt to influence another person with over-the-top displays of attention and affection. here’s what got me….
“soulmate” status: ideas for the holidays, “plans” for the future, and opportunities for visits and “what could be’s” that you knew never would happen.
asking me “are we moving too fast?” but in reality, there was no movement made. minimal motion. creating a sense of connection that was never really there. easing my mind that I am not a “checkbox” but checked the box.
Wednesday, February 12, 2025, 4:07 PM: you’re not a box to check or a task to fulfill.
but let's be real, you only know how to breadcrumb, you only know how to love the bomb because delivering the truth and showing up AS YOURSELF, SHORTCOMINGS AND ALL takes courage, commitment, and self-assurance. none of which you have. there plenty more to say, but for now I had to get it all out.
